A Lesson Discovered from My Dad: The Energy of Asking for Assist
My dad and me.
Last week marked the 25th anniversary of my father’s death from pancreatic cancer. The picture is of my dad and me at my Bar Mitzvah.
He spent his last few days in a wonderful hospice – St. Mary’s Hospice in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Dad was heavily sedated and not very lucid in his last few days, but I still talked to him as if he could hear me.
I believed he could hear me; upon reflection, I think that was one of the ways I was dealing with his imminent death.
I’ll always remember the day the Rabbi came to visit.
My mom leaned over to my dad and said, “Gordie, the Rabbi is coming, do you want me to take down the cross?”
Before I could burst out laughing, my dad opened his eyes for the first time in days. For that single moment, time stopped for me.
A silence grew over the room, all of us wondering what would happen next.
Without missing a beat, Dad said, “Gloria. Don’t touch that cross. I can use all the help I can get right now!”
Asking for Help is a Sign of Strength
Asking for help is often perceived as a sign of weakness.
Actually, it’s a hugely courageous thing to do and especially relevant today as so many of us are feeling overworked and burned out from dealing with the stresses of the pandemic. It demonstrates our vulnerability and lets caring people into our lives who are open to helping us.
Help could come in the form of a listening ear, empathy from a colleague, assistance thinking through a challenging project, asking for a mental health day off, or starting to see a therapist.
Asking for help is the first step; then being open to accepting it is as critical.
When you do, you will get better results in your work and personal life.
I can’t promise any divine intervention; what I can promise is that when you ask for help, there’s a greater likelihood that you will get where you need to go.
When was the last time you asked for help?
—David Grossman
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